Being Detached

As I was about to leave for home, I had heard my friend calling out to me. Knowing that I still had some time to kill before I just had to leave, I had decided to stay back and hang out with him. As we had been talking, he told me how he did not expect me to stay in contact with him after college. He told me that I am very detached and that I don't really form any deep bonds with people. The revelation, though sudden, was not surprising for me. I actually felt really glad that someone had finally pointed my exact behaviour.

Puzzled by my reaction? Don't be. I have been giving all this a thought for quite a while. I have often thought about my unwillingness to talk on phones, avoiding being alone in conversation with another person, rarely being the initiator of chats on Whatsapp or simple SMSes etc. In isolation, these habits seem simple quirks, but together they make me look eccentric and definitely point out my detached nature.

I wonder why am i like this? I wasn't so much before. I reason that it must be because I have often seen people whom I care for most, move away (just geographically; life isn't so dramatic) and I end up feeling terrible. I suppose it is just my coping mechanism. It might even be because I am subconsciously trying to keep people from coming too near my intensely convoluted and complicated inside. I don't know but I would like to know.

I am told not to obsess so much about myself, so I am leaving you with just this much to think about for now. Until next time, toodles!